To help someone with a gambling problem, raise it privately at a calm moment, say what you have noticed and how it affects you, and ask for one step, such as calling the gambling helpline. Protect shared money at the same time, and get support for yourself. You cannot make the change for them: only the person who bets can join BetStop, set deposit limits or start counselling.
You can get help too. Family members and friends can use the same free services as the person who gambles: the National Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858, and chat or email counselling through Gambling Help Online. Both are confidential and open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Signs that someone else's betting has become a problem
If you are worried about someone's gambling, look for patterns rather than one bad day. From the outside you see different things from what a person notices in their own betting, and one sign on its own proves little. A cluster of them, or one that returns again and again, is worth raising.
| Where it shows | What you might notice |
|---|---|
| Money | Bills paid late, savings that shrink with no explanation, requests to borrow, belongings sold, statements kept out of sight |
| Time | Long stretches on the phone whenever racing or a game is on, late nights, betting worked into outings and holidays |
| Mood | Flat or irritable after results, restless on days without a bet, swings that follow wins and losses |
| Behaviour | Secrecy about the phone, defensiveness when betting comes up, promises to cut back that do not hold, stories about money that do not add up |
The signs of a gambling problem guide covers the same ground from the inside, including the nine-question PGSI self-check, which you could suggest they try.
Getting ready to raise it
Gambling Help Online suggests preparing before you talk: look after your own health, learn a little about gambling and the help available, plan what you want to say, and think through how they might react.
- Pick a private place with no distractions, at a time when you are both calm and have time to talk, not straight after a loss or an argument.
- Bring facts, not a verdict: dates, missing amounts, plans that fell through.
- Decide on one request. A call to 1800 858 858 or a GP appointment is easier to agree to than a promise to stop for good.
- Settle your own limits first, such as no more loans, so you are not inventing them mid-argument.
- Put safety first. If you fear how they will react, wait until you feel safe or make a safety plan with a counsellor, and call 000 if anyone is in immediate danger.
What to say, and what to leave out
Speak from your side of it. Gambling Help Online recommends "I" statements, which describe what you have seen and how it affects you instead of accusing the other person.
| Instead of | Try |
|---|---|
| "You're addicted to that app." | "I've noticed you're on the betting app most nights, and I'm worried about you." |
| "Where has all the money gone?" | "The electricity bill is overdue and the savings account is lower than I expected. Can we go through it together?" |
| "Promise me you'll never bet again." | "Would you be willing to call the helpline with me this week?" |
| "Just tell me what you owe and I'll fix it." | "I want to help you find support, and I'm not able to pay the debts." |
Once you have said it, listen more than you talk. Open questions, such as how they feel about their betting lately, give them room to answer honestly.
When they deny it, get angry or promise to stop
Gambling Help Online lists the reactions to expect: some people are grateful that someone noticed, while others play it down, deny it, get angry or blame other people. None of those ends the matter.
- Denial: say what you have seen once, calmly, and leave the door open. Arguing over every dollar tends to harden it.
- Anger: end the conversation and come back to it another day. Your safety matters more than finishing the talk.
- A promise to stop: welcome it, then ask what will help it hold, such as BetStop, a bank gambling block or counselling.
- A slip after a promise: treat it as a sign of which support is missing, not as proof that nothing will work.
You do not need their agreement to get help for yourself.
Protecting shared money
Do this whether or not the conversation goes well, unless it could put you at risk. GambleAware NSW warns that taking control of family finances may increase the risk of intimate partner violence, so talk to a counsellor on 1800 858 858 and make a safety plan first.
Gambling Help Online's suggestions include separating finances for a while, paying wages into a separate account and needing two signatories on bank accounts. It lists lending money as "enabling" and suggests no longer bailing someone out of gambling debts, so that they feel the full impact of their gambling.
With illustrative figures, here is one way a couple could split a fortnightly pay of $4,200 that used to land in one joint account both partners spend from:
| Payday transfer | Amount | Where it goes |
|---|---|---|
| Rent | $1,300 | Direct debit to the landlord |
| Power, phone and insurance | $450 | A bills account in the name of the partner who does not bet, with no card attached |
| Groceries | $500 | The card of the partner who does not bet |
| Savings | $1,000 | A savings account that needs two signatures |
| Spending money | $475 each | Each partner's own account |
The transfers use the whole pay: 1,300 + 450 + 500 + 1,000 + 475 + 475 = $4,200. Before the change, all $4,200 was within reach of a betting app on payday. After it, the partner who bets can reach their own $475.
- Keep your own pay in an account in your name only, and change any PINs and passwords you have shared.
- Do not sign a loan or a joint credit application, or agree to be a guarantor, without advice from a financial counsellor.
- Check your own credit report for loans or cards you did not apply for: Moneysmart says you can get it free every 3 months.
- If they agree, they can switch on a gambling block on their own cards. Gambler's Help (page updated 1 September 2026) notes that at least one major bank also accepts a block request from someone who holds a power of attorney or has third-party access to the person's internet banking. Blocking gambling transactions explains how blocks work.
Risk: Betting involves risk, and the losses often land on the people around the person who bets. Separating money limits what a betting app can reach, but it does not stop the betting, so pair it with support. See responsible gambling for the tools and services.
What you can and cannot do for them
Most tools that stop betting are switched on by the person who bets. As at October 2026, this is where you fit:
| What you might want | Who can do it |
|---|---|
| Register them on BetStop | Only the person themselves, who can name up to 5 support people, each with their agreement |
| Set or lower a deposit limit | The account holder, at each bookmaker |
| Close a betting account | The account holder |
| Block gambling on a bank card | The cardholder; at least one major bank also accepts a person with a power of attorney or third-party access |
| Keep them out of a casino or club | It depends on the state: in NSW, a family member can apply to have someone banned from the casinos or from the gaming machine areas of a club |
As a BetStop support person, you are told how long they have excluded themselves, if they extend it, if they apply to leave early, when it is about to end, and if they remove you as a support person. The notice of an early application gives you a chance to talk before the exclusion ends. BetStop explained covers registration and both removal processes, the one in place as at October 2026 and the one that starts on 1 January 2027.
GambleAware NSW notes that pubs in NSW are different: there, the person has to choose to self-exclude. Venue programs differ across states and territories, so ask the National Gambling Helpline which ones apply where you live.
Support for family and friends
Help for people affected by someone else's gambling is free, and you can use it whether or not they get help themselves.
- National Gambling Helpline, 1800 858 858: free and confidential, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Counsellors can help you support the person, look after yourself and find ongoing counselling near you, and can arrange an interpreter.
- Gambling Help Online: counselling by chat and email at any hour, SMS support, and a peer forum with a section for family and friends.
- National Debt Helpline, 1800 007 007: free financial counselling on weekdays, for debts and bills that betting has left behind.
- Lifeline, 13 11 14, for crisis support, and 000 if anyone is in immediate danger.
- Your GP, for the stress, worry and lost sleep that can come with living beside someone's gambling.
Gambling help services in Australia describes each service in detail, and the responsible gambling tools hub explains the controls the person who bets can put in place.
Looking after yourself
Their betting is not your fault, and you cannot control it. You can control what you lend, what you sign and how much of your life it takes up.
- Keep up the basics: sleep, food, exercise and time with people you trust. Gambling Help Online puts looking after your own health first in its advice to families.
- Say your boundaries out loud and keep them, such as no more loans and no covering for them with relatives.
- Talk to someone outside it: a counsellor, the family and friends forum, or a friend.
- Expect more than one conversation, and plan how you will look after yourself if the first goes badly.
Mistakes that make helping harder
| Mistake | Why it backfires | Better |
|---|---|---|
| Paying their debts quietly | It removes the pressure to change, and new debts can follow | Talk to a financial counsellor before you pay anything |
| Raising it straight after a big loss | Feelings run highest then | Wait for a calm, private time |
| Checking their phone or accounts in secret | The talk becomes an argument about trust | Start from what you have seen in shared money |
| Keeping it from everyone | You carry it alone | Use the helpline or the family and friends forum |
| Expecting one talk to settle it | A first refusal feels final when it is not | Plan to come back to it |